i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
