It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
