put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize