The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
