Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
