Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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