wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
