As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
