so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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