Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
