i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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