is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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