you guys were way drunker than both of me
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
