The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
