Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
