direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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