loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
