I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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