So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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