dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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