Your mouth is God's brothel.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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