Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
