oh god the rape fog is back!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
