You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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