hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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