I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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