Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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