think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Quick, to the slutcave!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
50% drunk capacity currently
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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