Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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