the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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