Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
