hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
