i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize