You're my little dorito
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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