When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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