Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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