ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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