and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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