I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
