so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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