i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
