i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize