She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize