i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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