He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
