last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize