absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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