i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
