That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
