sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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