At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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