Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
