CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
