break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
