No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
