did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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