Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
