that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
