he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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