he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
