Me too!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
